Somehow, I'm trting to enjoy the blasted holidays.

I have not been enjoying my summer holidays thus far due to several glitches in the "real world."  I fear that i'm the only one among my friends who may well be spending the scorching summer here in the Metro , while the rest will be engaged in outings that will take them plces, something like the grandes vacances of the French.  I'm thinking that they will be exiling themselves to Boracay, Baguio, their respective haciendas in Batangas or Negros, or the cooler climates of Europe for the affluent. 

Me? I'm staying in the Metro because I'm virtually immobilized.  Being short on cash (then again, who isn't?), hitching on a trip to the beaches is out of the question, as well as a trip to the North.  I can also forget about going out of the country.  Transportation is also impossible in my straits because I don't drive (pathetic, am I not? And at my age, too!).

So, I'm left with very few options.  I just decided to spend the holidays in more constructive ways. One is going back to the gym after a six-month absence (my penance for not having been a regular despite five years of a lifetime membership).  Another is going on a museum visit every weekend or so (I've already gone to the San Agaustin Church and Museum last Saturday), although the only one who will bother accompanying me will be my cousin Michael.  I've also been advised to brush up on my reading for my comprehensive examinations this coming October (hopefully), even if I have a couple of subjects for the coming term.  I'm also supposed to renew my researcher status at the Archives to finally get started on my thesis, even if my first topic has been disapproved in the early proposal.

Here's to the summer, and whatever manner we choose to spend it. Kyrie eleison! Kyrie eleison! Kyrie eleison!

Is working for one's government a noble pursuit?  I think otherwise. I'm not one to praise our civil service here in the R.P., and this is neither the time nor place to do so.

My mother presented me the possibilities of getting employed with the government if I took the Civil Service Examination (CSE) slated for the next semester. She told me that I can go for the computer aided test to breeze through the process.  she added that I can qualify for the professional exams once i complete my MA, with the possibility of qualifying for the xecutive exams.  She made it sound like I was the equivalent of a Chinese scholar-bureaucrat of by-gone Imperial China if I make it past the battery without much of a hitch. She even claims that government work is not that hard.

Sure, I thought, given that I am finishing my MA, and that I've an eye towards a PhD, I can consider a career with the government.  However, I am not so eager to take the exams.

A looming reason is that our Civil Service is not really built on meritocratic lines.  While there is an institution that administers examinations that can judge one to be eligible for government work, it does not follow that promotions are based on qualification alone. A lot of people drop names or use connections to advance upward, usually at the expense of more qualified but lesser connected folk.  There is a tendency to be by-passed in the promotions game if one is too pure.  then, of coure, there is the perpetual problem of corruption in public office that stains the prestige of our government (Prestige? PRESTIGE? what PRESTIGE?), particularly in the DPWH, Customs and BIR. Need I mention the other departments and agencies? Lastly, our bureaucracy is stereotyped as generally inept and unprofessional.  Virtue and diligence are said to be lacking here.

Then again, I choose to seek the counsel of others.  Would you risk a little integrity in joining the Civil Service?

I'm new to this.  I hope you will all bear with me.

Call me Don. I'm 21, a graduate student, unemployed (but looking), and a bachelor.

I try to lead a normal life, even if I don't remotely fit the description "normal."  I guess it's mostly my fault.

I have little to say as of now, other than that I'm a diarist, a student of history, and a self-confessed caffeine addict. I'm usually a loner, but I enjoy the company of my frineds from time to time.  I' a commuting city-dweller, and I spent anywhere between 45 minute to two hours in transit from point "A" to point "B" and back.

In the physical appearance department, Im not good-looking by any standard.  I'm short, dark-skinned, scrawny and beyond hope of some face value.  I usually feel bad that most of the people I hang out with are tall, fair-skinned and athletically built. They are possessed of things that I obviously lack, especially in the height and looks department.  Beacuse of my scrawny frame, I'm a virtual weakling, and I look and feel ridiculous each time I go to the gym. I have the impression that people there laugh at my attempts at being fit like them. I guess, having a great body will never be my province.

I don't claim to be an intellectual, either. People say that I'm smart, although I doubt the proposition. I'm usually seen with a book while in a coffee shop, or hastily writing something in my journal. However, I don't enjoy the monicker of being a walking encyclopedia of any peer group.  Whatever knowledge I am said to have has no value to 99.9% of the regular population.  The same thing holds true in the vocabulary department.  I'm jeered at when I use some alien words and phrases in my dealings with my peers to the point of embarassment.  that's why I no longer enjoy talking, only to save face.

I know that I have too many issues to resolve in this life. What I need for the time being is a place where I can air my grievances and my appreciations. I don't know if I'll be able to post a lot of things, but I hope that they will be read.  Thanks.